And a year passed by

Today i lighted a candy for my grandfather that passed away a year ago today.

A Picture

Just testing out a thing..

Soundtrack of my life

I guess my attechment to music really started at a young age. I would say some of it comes from my parents. When i was really young my mother used to dance with me in her arms, often to Eros Ramazzotti. So when i hear a song played by him it takes me back to my childhood. My father on the other hand plays guitar. It is one of my favourite things when he brings out his guitar on late summer nights and people gather around and sings songs. These sort of things has been going on since i was a little kid, and i think i will never get tired of it.
My mom and dad bought alot of LP records togheter when they were a couple, and when they seperated when i was around 5 years old, and my mom has said that the records was one of the hardest thing to splitt between them. I have been told they layed out all the records on the floor and they took turns picking one at a time. (Note to self: never buy records with anyone).

A song can tell a moving story by itself, but for me the song gets even more moving if it's connected with another story as well. That is a big reason why i can like soundtrack so much sometimes. Cause the movie or tv-show moved me in a way, and the soundtrack enhanced that feeling. And when i listens to those songs my mind takes me back to that story or the feeling i had watching it.

Sometimes funny things happens, when your mind makes a soundtrack by itself. This have happend to me a couple of times, and i'm speacially thinking about when a book gets a soundtrack, that sometimes doesn't fit at all. Like in the summer of 2001 when i was reading The Felllowship of The Ring while listening to Britney Spears (at that time) new album - Britney. Whenever i hear songs from that album i get vauge pictures of Frodo and Gandalf in my head, and sometimes just the feeling i had when i was reading that book.
Another example is when i read the Millenium Triology by Stieg Larsson. Almost during all the three books i was listening to A Kiss Could Be Deadly - A Kiss Could Be Deadly. So that album always make me think of Lisbeth Salander, cause she is the character you really care about and somehow gets under you skin from that book.

Songs can also remind of a certian event in your life or an era of your life. Seriously, i bet alot from my generation would be taken back in the time when we heard likes like Spice Girls, S Club 7 and other artist from the 90's. It's a funny thing how music can trigger ones memory, with both and sad emotions.

During a long time of my life i couldn't fall asleep unless i had music playing. I still need to listen to music everyday, it's just weird if i don't. I have always needed music while i'm working on something, like homework or maybe a blogpost. ;P
Some mornings i already have a song playing in my head, and i just NEED to play it. I have needs to play a certain song every now and then. And sometimes i just fall in love with a song a play it over and over again, sometimes during a couple of days in a row. Whenever i go back and listen to one of those songs it's like an old friend has showed up for a visit. You get happy and are reminded of things that made you love it so much, and maybe get back a feeling from that time in your life.

Hopefully i will fall in love over and over again with new music that i later can call great friends.

All Hallows Eve and Morfar

This last weekend it was Alla helgons dag (All Hallows Eve) here in Sweden. Just like last year and many years before that i went to the graveyard here in town where my grandparents on my fathers sides lie. For the last maybe 5 years me and my best friend go there together, and it has becoma somewhat of a tradition to do this. Cause she also has grandparents that lie there. So to begin with i met up with her and her boyfriend and then a little while later my father, my stepmother and my little sister showed up as well.

Here we are lighting candles of my stepmothers grandparents grave

My grandparents grave on my fathers side

All Hallows Eve is the best time of the year to visit the graveyards here in Sweden i think. Many people go there to light candles on the graves of loved ones that has passed away, and even though i tried to catch it on camera, it is really hard to replay the magic feeling you get from experience it in real life. This typical sea of flickering candles will always have a special place in my heart.








This year i also payed a visit to the remembrance garden because my grandfather on my mothers side passed away in the end of october and he hasn't been burried yet. So i light a candle for him in the remembrance garden, and i will probably do that from now on, cause he is gonna be burried with my grandmother, and it takes 3 hours to drive there.

Pics from the rememberance garden

It is a bit weird to have lost my last grandparent, biological at least, still have some due to my stepmother and stepfather, but it just not the same. Morfar (mor=mother, far=father) has been the only close grandparent since both my grandmothers passed away when i was about six years old and my father lost his father when he was 12. So a generation is lost in a way.

His passing was both fast and slow in a way. He had suffered from demensia for over a year, so he has been slipping away from us bit by bit during this last year, so i was somewhat prepared for this day to come, even though for the most part he was doing okay health wise. Sure he was getting old and all that comes with that.

On the sunday i heard that he had gotten pneumonia and on tuesday i went there to visit him. His breathing was really forced and you could hear the fluid in his lungs. I held his hand alot of the time i was there and he told me i had cold hands. He did talk some more, but i couldn't make any sense of it all. I went back there on wednesday and his breathing was more normal but he wasn't awake at all. I was there for a while then i went home to get dinner and pic up some stuff for my mom that she needed, cause we were gonna be there all night so he wouldn't be alone.
However when i got back he had passed in like 2 mins before i got there. My mom and uncle was at his side and they hadn't even had the time yet to tell the staff what had happend.
So in a way i feel that i was there when it happend, and i must say that it feel good that i was there earlier that day and the day before, so i somewhat got so say goodbye to him.
I also agree with my mom that this was a better way for him to go. That i didn't have to be alone. Which had could been a reality last summer when i found him passed out in his appartment after a heartattck. In my opinion this was a better way for him to leave this earth.
I gonna miss him alot, and even though this last year of his life wasn't all that great, he lived a long and happy life for what i can tell. He would have turned 86 the 2 of novemeber.


On another note this graveyeard was used in the musicvideo me and one of my friend did 3 years ago. This song is also my go to song when i have lost someone, and at the moment i think it is fitting.

Soundtrack for today

Killola - Cracks In The Armor



I just love this song and this awesome video.

Yay! The Snow has arrived!

Finally. Third time is a charm for sure. We have had snow on 2 other days during the last two weeks, but this time it has comed alot and it seems likes it's gonna stay for a while.
So i had to get out in the snow a play a little bit and take some pictures.