Thursday, 11 November 2010
All Hallows Eve and Morfar
This last weekend it was Alla helgons dag (All Hallows Eve) here in Sweden. Just like last year and many years before that i went to the graveyard here in town where my grandparents on my fathers sides lie. For the last maybe 5 years me and my best friend go there together, and it has becoma somewhat of a tradition to do this. Cause she also has grandparents that lie there. So to begin with i met up with her and her boyfriend and then a little while later my father, my stepmother and my little sister showed up as well.
All Hallows Eve is the best time of the year to visit the graveyards here in Sweden i think. Many people go there to light candles on the graves of loved ones that has passed away, and even though i tried to catch it on camera, it is really hard to replay the magic feeling you get from experience it in real life. This typical sea of flickering candles will always have a special place in my heart.
This year i also payed a visit to the remembrance garden because my grandfather on my mothers side passed away in the end of october and he hasn't been burried yet. So i light a candle for him in the remembrance garden, and i will probably do that from now on, cause he is gonna be burried with my grandmother, and it takes 3 hours to drive there.
It is a bit weird to have lost my last grandparent, biological at least, still have some due to my stepmother and stepfather, but it just not the same. Morfar (mor=mother, far=father) has been the only close grandparent since both my grandmothers passed away when i was about six years old and my father lost his father when he was 12. So a generation is lost in a way.
His passing was both fast and slow in a way. He had suffered from demensia for over a year, so he has been slipping away from us bit by bit during this last year, so i was somewhat prepared for this day to come, even though for the most part he was doing okay health wise. Sure he was getting old and all that comes with that.
On the sunday i heard that he had gotten pneumonia and on tuesday i went there to visit him. His breathing was really forced and you could hear the fluid in his lungs. I held his hand alot of the time i was there and he told me i had cold hands. He did talk some more, but i couldn't make any sense of it all. I went back there on wednesday and his breathing was more normal but he wasn't awake at all. I was there for a while then i went home to get dinner and pic up some stuff for my mom that she needed, cause we were gonna be there all night so he wouldn't be alone.
However when i got back he had passed in like 2 mins before i got there. My mom and uncle was at his side and they hadn't even had the time yet to tell the staff what had happend.
So in a way i feel that i was there when it happend, and i must say that it feel good that i was there earlier that day and the day before, so i somewhat got so say goodbye to him.
I also agree with my mom that this was a better way for him to go. That i didn't have to be alone. Which had could been a reality last summer when i found him passed out in his appartment after a heartattck. In my opinion this was a better way for him to leave this earth.
I gonna miss him alot, and even though this last year of his life wasn't all that great, he lived a long and happy life for what i can tell. He would have turned 86 the 2 of novemeber.
On another note this graveyeard was used in the musicvideo me and one of my friend did 3 years ago. This song is also my go to song when i have lost someone, and at the moment i think it is fitting.